Drunk
by Dr.BadAss Is In
Summary: Alastair, Tracy and Crys get drunk and head back to the 'batcave'.


Tracy and Alastair appeared in the middle of the 'batcave' holding a really drunk Crys between them.

"Imma kill you….you evil leprechaun motherfucka" Crys slurred swinging a fist in mid-air before falling face first to the floor.

"YOU GO SISTA!" Alastair exclaimed wrapping an arm around Tracy's shoulder.

"What the fuck?" Lucifer said looking between the three of them.

"I can't find my cat" Crys pouted sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Aww I liked that kitty witty" Tracy giggled leaning into Alastair for support.

"Someone explain please?" Dean asked.

"I'M CAPTAIN AMERCA BITCHES!" Alastair shouted leaping on Sam.

"Ahh" Sam exclaimed trying to push him off.

"GO ALI!" Tracy cheered him on.

"DIE LOKI!" Alastair exclaimed, weakly bitch slapping the shit outta Sam.

"If your Mr America I wanna be Katness with a stick!" Crys said struggling to stand up. Everyone in the room watched them with both amused and confused expressions.

"Why don't I have a girlfriend?" Alastair asked Crys when he finally got off Sam.

"Aww Ali" Tracy said hanging off the back of his neck.

"KATE WILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Crys screeched pulling Kate up from the couch.

"Ohh no she won't she's my girlfriend" Lucifer said pulling her back.

"I miss mom" Alastair pouted with Tracy still on his back.

"Should we call someone?" Kate whispered to Lucifer who nodded. He disappeared and the three of them stared where he was.

"Why can't we do that Cryssy?" Alastair asked on the verge of tears.

"I don't know but I miss dad" She replied sobbing.

"They have issues" Dean commented watching them. A couple of minutes later Lucifer returned with two people.

"MOM!" Alastair shouted latching onto the woman's waist burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"PESTILENCE!" Crys exclaimed jumping on him. Athena and Pestilence stood there confused trying to comfort the two sobbing horsemen.

"WHY CAN'T I BE LOVED?!" Alastair sobbed.

"I love you Ali" Tracy said also hugging Pestilence for unknown reasons.

"I love you as well bro" Crys added.

"Yay" Alastair exclaimed happily. They heard a flapping and when they turned around they saw Michael looking confused.

"HALO!" Crys shrieked jumping on him.

"The fuck?" He questioned looking around at them.

"I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO HELL!" Crys shouted clinging to his waist. Michael looked to Athena and Pestilence who just shrugged. Crys let go of Michael and stumbled over to the others.

"FUCK YOU FAIRY PIECE IF SHIT!" Crys shouted trying to punch Lucifer and ended up hitting Gabriel.

"AHH HE SPARKLED!" Tracy exclaimed pointing to Castiel who tilted his head in confusion. The three drunks turned to Castiel and jumped on him trying to stake him with a spoon.

"The weird fabric is impenetrable!" Crys said examining his trench coat.

"What the hell have they been drinking?" Sam asked stepping back.

"No idea Sam" Pestilence replied looking at the niece and nephew.

"Imma go steal a car!" Crys giggled grabbing Alastair and Tracy's shoulder disappearing. They waited an hour to try figure out what the hell happened until Sam turned on the news and froze shocked.

"Ehh guys I found them" He pointed to the screen.

"A high-speed pursuit has started on the highway not too long ago involving a 1967 Cheverly Impala. Three suspects have been spotted in the vehicle and appear to be drunk. One suspect in particular has been firing off shots at the police screaming 'I can't go back to the cage!'" The news reporter read off the T.V. There was a video playing of the Impala driving at max speed with 7 cop cars behind it. Crys was sticking her head out the passenger window with a shotgun firing at the cars almost hitting them.

"HEY MICHAEL I'M ON TV!" Crys shouted waving at the helicopter which was filming them.

"HEY MOM!" Alastair also shouted sticking his head out of the driver's window.

"LET'S GO TO NARNIA!" Crys exclaimed lighting a Molotov and throwing it on a police car casually.

"AWESOME!" Tracy shouted trying to get out the back seat window.

"NO STAY IN THE MAGIC WAREDROBE IT WILL SHOW US THE WAY!" Alastair screeched.

"OK" Tracy went back into the car.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" Crys started singing while climbing onto the roof of the car.

"I'M KING OF THE WORLD!" Alastair shouted.

"THAT'S MY LINE TWILIGHT!" Crys scolded him.

"TAKE THAT BACK BELLA!"

"NEVER JACOB!"

"GO FUCK LUCIFER YOU WHORE!"

"GO FUCK EDWARD!"

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" Alastair began crying again.

"I'M SORRY BRO I LOVE YOU!" Crys cried as well. The car went off road and into a large forest and once they got out of the cops view they zapped the Impala back to the 'batcave'. Everyone started at the T.V in both shock and humiliation. Suddenly the doors swung open and the three of them came in laughing their asses off. Michael and Pestilence stood up and looked at them with rage filled eyes.

"I wanna be a butterfly" Crys giggled with her arm around Alastair.

"Pretty" Tracy looked at Athena's dress with awe before Crys and Alastair were smacked hard across the face by Michael and Pestilence.

"OWW I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO THE CAGE!" Crys shouted with tear filled eyes.

"I DON'T LIKE HELL!" Alastair exclaimed clutching his cheek where he was slapped.

"Do you two have ANY idea how much trouble you are in?!" Pestilence growled towering over them.

"You two are a disgrace to this family" Pestilence hissed. Crys and Alastair looked at each other before running back out the door into the woods behind the 'batcave'.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!" They shouted heading deeper into the woods.

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!" Could be heard in the distance.

"YOU GUYS SUCK!" Tracy cried after them. Tracy started crying and sat down on the floor like a child. They looked out the door and back to Tracy who was now passed out on the floor. Athena and Pestilence apologised to the group and left. Around 1o'clock in the afternoon the next day Crys and Alastair stumbled into the 'batcave' covered in blood, twigs, dirt, water, sweat, fur and moss. They went to the kitchen and got a glass of water each before tripping into the living room to the others.

"Uggh why do I feel like shit?" Crys questioned sitting on the couch with Alastair.

"Do you two have any idea how much trouble you caused last night?!" Michael growled making them flinch away from him.

"No" Crys replied in a small voice. The group noticed the clear red handprints on their faces from where they were hit last night.

"What do you remember?" Alex asked gently.

"Michael and Pestilence slapping us then nothing" Alastair whispered looking to Crys.

"Anything else?" They shook their heads so Gabriel showed them the news from the highway last night. They stared in shock at their behaviour and choice of words.

"Ohh shit we are so fucked" Crys muttered bringing her knees up to her chest.

"Why?" Kate asked sitting across from them.

"God said that if we ever did anything like this again we would be sent to the cage" She replied.

"When was the last time this happened?"

"A couple of years ago we ended up on a highway in a stolen car pissed drunk and did the same thing. We ended up killing 11 people. According to Joshua we also destroyed the garden" Alastair said hoarsely. Tracy came out a few seconds later holding her head and blocking her eyes from the light.

"Where did you wake up?" Sam asked.

"In a cave with some wolves and a bear" Crys replied.

"Wow" Dean mouthed. A couple of minutes later Raphael appeared in front of the T.V with rage filled eyes. Crys and Alastair fell off the couch and backed away from him to the wall.

"You destroyed multiple areas of heaven last night you stupid fucks" He growled advancing on them.

"Ohh shit" Crys whimpered trying to back away further.

"Enough Raphael!" Michael shouted stopping him.

"They violated heaven and all you say is enough?" Raphael turned to his older brother.

"As much as I would like to punish them myself I will leave it to their parents" Michael replied making Crys and Alastair go pale. Raphael sent a nasty glare in their direction before going back to heaven.

"Why are you covered in blood?" Tracy asked pointing to their cloths and around their mouths.

"We'd rather not talk about it" Crys mumbled keeping her distance from Michael.

"Tell us" Dean demanded.

"We had dinner with the wolves" Alastair muttered hanging his head low.

"What does that mean?" Dean turned to Sam.

"I think it means they ate raw animal meat" Sam grimaced. Crys and Alastair nodded with humiliation and disgust before going to a room and locking themselves in. Only when they didn't come out after a couple of hours did the others worry.

"What's wrong with them?" Lucifer questioned glancing towards the door.

"I think they feel ashamed of themselves, embarrassed, humiliated, confused, scared, weak and shocked" Alex sighed.

"Should someone check on them?"

"We'll go" Kate and Lucifer offered walking towards the room. Kate knocked on the door and when nobody responded she looked at Lucifer worriedly. He flicked his wrist and the door opened to reveal an empty room with a note on the bed. Lucifer read the note and went back out.

"What?" Gabriel asked concerned.

"They left" Kate sighed rubbing her brow.

"Where?"

"They left a note saying '_Don't come after us because you won't find us. We will come back in our own time we just need to think this whole fucking disaster over. If you don't hear from us in the next two months then we killed ourselves to stop further hum__iliation and embarrassment to ourselves, __friends and family'" _Lucifer read. Everyone stood there unsure of what to do.

"Should we look for them?" Alex asked quietly.

"They said not to" Dean replied running a hand over his face.

"They're gonna commit suicide Dean!"

"They said they might" He corrected.

"Besides where would we look their smart and depressed horsemen there gonna have a pretty good hideout" He added. Michael let out a breath and ran his hands threw his hair before sitting back down on the couch burying his face in his hands.

_Meanwhile_

Crys and Alastair sat on the edge of a random set of cliffs looking out at the ocean.

"Why did you put we were gonna commit suicide at the end of the note?" Crys asked after a few moments.

"Michael slapped me so I wanted him to worry none stop for a while" He replied shrugging.

"That's why you're my favourite family member" Crys smiled weakly at him wrapping her arm around his shoulder.

"Is it just me or can you still taste that deer we ate last night?" He asked clicking his tongue off his teeth.

"Ohh yeah that taste is never leaving my mouth" She laughed slightly.

"If they really cared they would have found us by now"

"You said not to look for us though"

"Well if it was them we wouldn't stop till we found them" He said throwing a bit of grass of the cliff.

"Suppose your right we didn't hide ourselves" She shrugged leaning back on her elbows.

"I miss this" Alastair said quietly.

"Miss what?"

"This just the two of us taking like we used to" He glanced at her.

"I know" Crys sighed rubbing circles on his back comfortingly. They heard a sound of footsteps behind them and almost fell off the cliff when they saw Pestilence standing there.

"Here to hit us again" Alastair spat.

"No and I apologise for that" He replied.

"Too late for apologies" Crys muttered.

"Ohh please like you haven't forgiven Michael already" Pestilence rolled his eyes at Crys.

"No I haven't spoken to him since last night" Crys replied bitterly inching closer to her brother. Pestilence stood up and left leaving them alone again.

"Let's go back to my place, Michael is probably at yours" Alastair whispered helping her up. Pestilence arrived back with the Winchesters startling them.

"What do you want now?" Lucifer snapped.

"I found the two runaways they were sitting on the edge of a cliff in Thailand chatting" He replied. Michael lifted his head up at hearing this.

"Are they still there?" Kate asked hopefully.

"No they left back to Alastair's apartment which he warded against us but stupidly left open to angels" He glanced towards Michael.

"We'll get them later" Lucifer said noticing the glance.

"Get them now before they hurt themselves any further" He said before disappearing again. Lucifer sighed and looked over to Michael only to see him gone.

"Shit!" He cursed.

"What?" Kate asked placing a hand on his arm.

"Michael's gone to them"

"That's a good thing" Gabriel said leaning against the wall.

"Did you somehow forget what happened last night?" Lucifer snapped.

"Michael's the last person next to Pestilence their gonna want to see" He added.

"Just leave him for a couple of hours if we don't hear from him then we go" Kate calmed him. He sighed defeated and went to his room he shared with Kate. Crys and Alastair looked up when they heard wings and visibly flinched when they saw Michael standing there.

"Leave now before I kill you" Alastair hissed standing up.

"I just want to talk please" He pleaded looking to Crys who refused to meet his gaze.

"We will talk to you when we want to"

"You said you were going to kill yourselves!" He exclaimed.

"That was just to make you feel guilty asshole!" Alastair replied. Michael calmed down a bit relief washing over him.

"Well congratulations it worked!" Michael said crossing his arms.

"Just go Michael" Alastair sighed giving up with the argument.

"No" He sat down on the chair opposite Crys.

"I'll make you" Alastair growled threateningly.

"Just ignore him" Crys said forcing Alastair down again.

"Please Crys I just want to talk" Michael begged looking at his mate.

"No!" Alastair shouted.

"Ali calm down I do not need you making my decisions for me" Crys looked to him.

"Please?" Crys looked back to Michael and nodded. She got up and gestured him to follow her to the furthest room.

"What do you want?" She sighed sitting on the floor with her back against the bed.

"I'm sorry for last night" He whispered looking down while leaning back against the door. He slid down along it till he was sitting down across from her, he buried his face in his hands not looking at her.

"I don't know Michael" She replied bringing one knee up to her chest.

"What do you mean?" He asked finally lifting his head.

"I can easily forgive you for threatening to hand us over to our parents. But slapping my brother…" She trailed off.

"I'm so sorry I don't know why I did it" He said running his hands threw his hair again.

"You we're angry I get that I'm not mad at you I don't know what I am" She sighed.

"How could you not be mad at me?!" He exclaimed.

"Honestly I'm surprised you haven't left me yet" He added quietly.

"I would never do that" Crys said zapping over beside him. He looked at her and hit his head back against the door.

"I'm sorry Crys" He whispered leaning his head against hers.

"I know babe" She replied softly, running her fingers soothingly through his hair to calm him. He leaned into her touch affectionately visibly relaxing to her relief. After a couple of minutes calming him down Crys nuzzled into his side making him laugh lightly.

"Why do we always do this?" He asked looking down at her.

"Do what?" She replied confused.

"Fight it's becoming more common for us to fight" He sighed.

"I honestly don't know but it never lasts long a day or two at the most then we're back to normal" She entwined their fingers together.

"But one day it's going to last and that will be the end of this"

"Maybe in another 8 billion years but not today" Crys joked trying to lighten the mood. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him and leaned up so their lips were pressed together.

"I love you" She whispered.

"I love you too" He replied smiling. Crys stood up to head back into the living room to Alastair until Michael pushed her up against the door.

"Now that I think of it you still have to go through some punishment for last night" He said huskily going back to his old self.

"Like what?" She replied innocently.

"I was thinking handcuffs, melted chocolate and that silver bracelet you love so much" He answered kissing her neck up to her lips.

"Not the bracelet" Crys whined.

"Yes the bracelet and I'm going to enjoy every moment of you wearing it and begging me to take it off" He smirked.

"Guys I can here you!" Alastair exclaimed.

"Sorry Ali" Crys shouted.

"I'm going to hell to make sure Ginger left my torture room alone" He said before disappearing.

"Just out of curiosity what were you three drinking last night?" Michael asked walking with you back to the couch.

"I have no idea something from hell I think" She laughed. They noticed Alastair left a note for the Winchesters if they came to his apartment. Michael shrugged and spun Crys to face him.

"Do you want your punishment now or later?" His hot breath ghosted over her neck.

"Hmm how about now?" She replied playing with his sleeve. He grinned and pressed his lips to hers. He zapped them back to their apartment just as Lucifer and Gabriel appeared. Lucifer picked up the note and read it to Gabriel.

"_Dear douchbag, Crys and Michael have made up and are currently 'occupied' back at their apartment so I wouldn't go near them till tomorrow__ or the day after__. I have gone back to hell to resume my torturing and to kill Ginger for designing my torture room to look like a __fucking __Disney castle. Love Alastair. P.s you have 1 minute to get the fuck out of my apartment before my hellhounds tear you to shreds" _He read just as they heard growling behind them. Lucifer slowly turned and saw two hellhounds bearing their teeth at them.

"Run" Gabriel whispered trying to spot the beasts. Just as they were about to run the dogs pounced on them shredding their shirts and jeans to pieces. They quickly zapped back to the 'batcave' where everyone tried not to laugh at their appearance.

"Remind me to kill every hellhound on earth and in hell" Lucifer muttered going to his room to change.


End file.
